Every major challenge we face, every adversity we bump into, comes with a decision—a fork in the road.
These turning points, the moments when we decide which way we will go, can become touchpoints in our lives.
Each one of us will face several of these moments. They’re the changes that change us—whether they’re happy or unhappy experiences, professional or personal, pertaining to health, relationships, or money. And they can lead us to breakdowns or breakthroughs.
The choices we make create the narrative of our lives. Before you face your next turning point, take note of the ways you can deepen it into a touchpoint:
1. Unmask the real you. If your self-image is based on someone you’ve been pretending to be, it’s time to get real. Don’t allow self-deception to shadow you from who you are; don’t justify or blame. You can’t befriend who you think you want to be, only who you are and who you are meant to be.
2. Embrace openness and flexibility. The most precious opportunities present themselves when you come to a place where you don’t think you can handle what’s happening. It is those moments—basically, when life has just nailed you—that you’re free to stop manipulating circumstances, to let go of trying so hard. When you have no choice but to embrace what is happening, you can discover your own flexible edge.
3. Take in the hard lessons. It’s human nature to look upon a challenge or crisis as bad news. And they do cause pain, no doubt. But it’s possible to become the kind of person who is hungry to know what the complications are really about—who can go beyond the pain and dive deep into the wisdom and lessons that are present in those moments, who can lean in instead of collapsing or backing away.
4. See the bigger picture. When times are tough, it is hard to see beyond our own perspective. But when you can back up to see the bigger picture, you’ll be able to see your own path through to the other side. Instead of remaining frozen and stuck in the experiences that brought you to this point, it’s a time to gather your mental strength, to look beyond what is happening in the moment and bravely face ahead.
5. Surrender to what is. The worst difficulties for many of us are the ones we create for ourselves. You can overcome so much by looking within, studying your true self, and letting that self be. When you can see and surrender instead of denying and fighting and trying to escape, you are able to create a point of clear, peaceful truth.
6. Remember you’re part of something bigger. Times are difficult globally, and awakening ourselves is not a personal luxury or an ideal. It’s critically important if we are to contribute to the store of good in the world instead of adding more discouragement and anger to what’s already here. Instead of remaining cocooned in our private misery, we can connect the touchpoints we create to build the positivity and goodness that our world desperately needs.
7. Make the path the goal. It’s not the destination that matters but the path itself. Of course, everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. But our deepest goal is not to arrive at the end but to fully experience the journey, individually and together.
Lead From Within: Our turning points will be the opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves, they will come our most significant touchpoints.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
Vishal Kataria
29. Mar, 2016
The most precious opportunities present themselves when you come to a place where you don’t think you can handle what’s happening.
Loved this point. Reminds me of the saying “Fear doesn’t shut you down. It wakes you up.”
It takes tremendous courage and mental strength to imbibe the philosophies you have listed here, Lolly. But that’s what makes real leaders amazing, isn’t it?
Duncan M.
02. Apr, 2016
Lolly, it’s always a great pleasure to read your articles. Unmasking the real you ca be the most difficult part, especially when you used a mask for many years. Finding a better version of yourself can definitely make a big change in everybody’s lives.
COLLINS MANYASI
25. Apr, 2016
awesome Lolly…’its not the destination that matters but the path itself’….the process matters more than just focusing on the outcome..
This has really helped me have a different perspective at my work place…
Thanks Lolly
Carla Rodenbucher
18. Jul, 2018
Lolly,
After a professional crucible, I have been reading your post for the last two years. Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to push through, identify areas of growth, see a bigger picture and come out of the ashes a better person and leader. I love the idea of a “touch point”. These small gifts during your life allow you to explore yourself as a human being, try new things and create a new path that only your unique self can appreciate!
lollydaskal
22. Jul, 2018
Carla, What an honor to meet you. Thank you for your insight and thoughtful comment. I hope my writing continues to inspire you to be a better persona and leader. To filling the world with great leaders.
Rick Weaver
21. Oct, 2018
Very good points. Interesting idea of making the path the goal. I’ve heard of chunking but that makes the focus the smaller goals. The concept of making the path the goal keeps the bigger prize in solid view.