Whether you’re a CEO or an intern, a student or a teacher, a parent or a friend, it’s almost impossible to get through an entire day without realizing you’ve made a mistake. Busy schedules and over-long to-do lists make mistakes even more likely. Some are small and easily remedied, and others can have long-lasting repercussions.
Especially if you pride yourself on being careful and thorough in everything you do, mistakes can feel shameful.
[quote]We can ignore and cover our mistakes, or we can choose to learn from them and use them as lessons. [/quote]
What’s your approach to mistakes?
How many of these actions are part of your response?
Acknowledge. When we acknowledge a mistake—without drama, without excuses, without shaming ourselves—we can move on to the important tasks correcting the mistake and finding ways to prevent it from happening again.
Accept. Everyone makes mistakes. When we take responsibility for being human (and by nature imperfect), we accept ourselves and become open to accepting others.
Apologize. “I am sorry” are very powerful words. Whatever form it takes, a sincere apology can prevent a mistake from disturbing a relationship.
Adjust. The impulse to judge ourselves is strong and self-forgiveness can be hard. It’s important to adjust your own view of yourself and your mistakes to reflect the same attitude you would show to others.
Apply. When we can apply the wisdom we gain from your mistakes, we can carry them forward with us as a positive experience.
[quote]It’s said that there are no mistakes, only lessons, and our biggest mistakes are our greatest source of learning. [/quote]
None of us would ever choose to make a mistake. But in adjusting how we think about our mistakes, we can turn them into something better. Remember mistakes are proof that you are trying.
[quote]As leaders, we establish our character, demonstrate our values, and set a powerful example for others with how we handle our own mistakes.[/quote]
Lead from Within: Mistakes help us keep ourselves in perspective, to really learn and grow. We often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than by being right for the wrong reasons.
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
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30 Responses
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to “Leadership: Turn Mistakes into Lessons”
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April 16, 2013
[…] Leadership: Turn Mistakes into Lessons Written by: Lolly Daskal […]
Jaro Berce
16. Apr, 2013
Lolly like your “within” approach that radiate from your descriptions of “Turn Mistakes into Lesson” blog. I’ve been dealing with it in different situations. for more information please visit my blog: http://leadershipbyvirtue.blogspot.com/
Jaro Berce, Author of “Leadership by Virtue”
Martina
16. Apr, 2013
Great post, Lolly.
Yes, we should use every opportunity, including mistakes, to learn something. We learn the most about ourselves.
Once we can work our way through the acknowledgement and judgement part, we need to move quickly to understanding, apologizing, rectifying and adjusting.
The evidence that we have actually learned something lies not only in the apology, but in the changed action or perception.
lollydaskal
16. Apr, 2013
LOVE THIS Martina,
Once we can work our way through the acknowledgement and judgement part, we need to move quickly to understanding, apologizing, rectifying and adjusting.
The evidence that we have actually learned something lies not only in the apology, but in the changed action or perception.
Beautifully stated. Thanks so much for your deep insight.
Vincent Nguyen
16. Apr, 2013
Luckily, I can say all those steps are actions that I take when I realize I’ve made a mistake. I feel I am better than most when it comes to coming to terms with mistakes. It’s because of the understanding that perfectionism is an illusion.
You are very right, sincere apologies are powerful. Most people are afraid to admit they’ve made a mistake, but even less people apologize.
lollydaskal
16. Apr, 2013
Vincent, many are afraid to admit mistakes. breaking down our anxiety into a system to follow sometimes takes our BIG mistakes and makes them manageable.
And as you say perfectionism is an illusion. So lets get real and learn lessons so we can move forward with our lives.
Thanks for sharing.
Craig Holloman
16. Apr, 2013
Thanks for this post. Oh how simple things would be if we all just ‘fessed up to our mistakes, learned from them and kept moving forward. This is definitely a quality of a great leader. Thanks Lolly for the reminder!!
lollydaskal
16. Apr, 2013
Craig,
Qualities of a leader as you say and the essence of our humanity.
We all need to learn lessons and move forward.
Thanks for stopping by and adding your insight.
Much appreciate you.
Terri Klass
16. Apr, 2013
Loved the post, Lolly. Sometimes leaders are so hard on themselves when mistakes are made. They beat themselves up and have a hard time forgiving themselves for unimportant errors. Your 4 A’s, are a great way to transform mistakes into life lessons. Thank you for all you do!
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Thank you Terri,
In leadership and in life we must remember that we all make mistakes its what we do with them that matters.
Truly appreciate your comment and thoughtfulness.
Lolly
Ivan Nelson
16. Apr, 2013
Lolly, thanks for another great post! It does take true leadership to publicly admit one’s mistakes. It is hard enough to admit them to ourself let alone to others, so apologizing is a very powerful tool indeed. But even more powerful is the ability to learn from mistakes and build on these lessons.
Praveen
17. Apr, 2013
That was really amazing post, TY to make someone like me realize the reality of mistakes, and how we are realizing and reacting towards them to resolve them. as you mentioned “I am sorry” are really a very meaningful words, which we need to accept and then deliver those words from our whole heart. As a human, even i do lots of mistakes in my daily life unintentionally but when i realize. i always try to resolve them before they slip away from my hands. and finally this post is like a best lesson to make our organizational & Personal life perfect. Thank you so much, and please be my mentor.
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But WE are not your mistakes and WE are not your struggles, OUR struggles and MISTAKES are our teachers, our guide, our mentors, and WE have the power and the passion to shape,connect and deliver on our future….. As heart based leaders tap into the whispers of your heart and allow it to lead you down the journey of your leadership.
lead yourself forward with mistakes or not…
Carolyn Burns, Broker-associate, Prudential Florida Realty
18. Apr, 2013
Love this post, Lolly. Sometimes we forget that even Leaders are people with issues of character and trust. Your advice: “when we acknowledge a mistake—without drama, without excuses, without shaming ourselves—we can move on to the important tasks correcting the mistake and finding ways to prevent it from happening again.” is spot on for anyone who is in denial as to their personal trust issues. Sometimes they absolutely don’t want to admit their flawed character as they are the leader already, and to self-deny or publicly deny is important to their image. The true leader with character will own up to the lie or trust issue and it will free them to be a much better person and leader!.
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Worth repeating…and filled with wisdom!
Sometimes we forget that even Leaders are people with issues of character and trust. Your advice: “when we acknowledge a mistake—without drama, without excuses, without shaming ourselves—we can move on to the important tasks correcting the mistake and finding ways to prevent it from happening again.
because as we all know we learn from failure, not from success…
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward.
Elisabeth Noble
18. Apr, 2013
Lolly, your points about moving forward and learning are vital. When we do, we do learn to be compassionate and impart understanding to others who make mistakes with less finger pointing and judgement about those who have experienced shame for mistakes when they clearly have been learned from. Turning toward God and others with sorrow and seeking forgiveness while doing things correctly makes us stronger people. Also, being able to shed light on others and accept others without making a judgement and labeling helps in moving forward to be able to shine a light “at the end of the tunnel” for others as well while being cautious of who we select to surround us in order to stay on a new path ahead. Thank you for your wise insights!
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Elisabeth,
Love your last name..NOBLE. it says a lot about who you are.
As leaders, we are human, as parents we are human, as people we are human we must remember… The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one and so we must trust in ourselves that we have the inner wisdom and the outer faith to move us forward- as you say to move us towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for your beautiful insight and for sharing it with us.
Gordon Tredgold
20. Apr, 2013
Great post Lolly.
Admitting to mistakes and apologising builds trust with our teams, it lets them know we are ok to be venerable, and that we don’t believe our selves to be perfect.
My last boss was never wrong, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Result – people stopped to provide information to him, or give feedback, or give different viewpoints.
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
so true Gordon.
Admitting to mistakes and apologizing builds trust with our teams, it lets them know we are ok to be venerable, and that we don’t believe our selves to be perfect.
This should be a poster!
Thanks for sharing your brilliant insight.
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
If we as leaders, refuse to look at ourselves in a new light and we can only see ourselves for the mistakes we have made and if we don’t realize that we are not OUR mistakes, then WE WILL NEVER GROW.
Jim Reppond
20. Apr, 2013
As we move through and acknowledge our mistakes, it’s easy to see others going through the same issues. It’s just part of maturing. This can be an important crossroad in character! You can choose to have the grace to come along side them to support and advise them, or you can lash out and/or even attack them for “being as stupid as I was”. Guess which one will create a better outcome?
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
I like your thoughts when you say……..
As we move through and acknowledge our mistakes, it’s easy to see others going through the same issues. It’s just part of maturing. This can be an important crossroad in character!
That is very true statement.
Thanks for sharing.
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Life is not worth living if it does not include the opportunity to make mistakes
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
It is healthy to be reminded as leaders the wisest might make mistakes and the strongest might experience weakness.
Jovani Valdivia
21. Apr, 2013
Great Post !!
I totally agree, mistakes are opporunities to learn. if you learn from mistakes, they can propel you forward. Mistakes are an essential part of self improvement.
I love reading your posts !!!
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Jovani,
Thanks so much for your comment. TRUTH: MISTAKES are OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN…
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never VENTURED out of their comfort zone.
LIFE is a RISK worth taking.
Lolly
lollydaskal
22. Apr, 2013
Heart based leaders learn from their mistakes and they learn from feedback from others.
Aleem Moosa
03. May, 2013
Thank you very much for this lovely inspirational writing.
I think everyone must learn from their mistake. Mistakes make one more powerful and strong,if taken positively,and learning by mistakes isn’t that bad as we take, once we make mistake, we try to hide it by lying,and for a single lie one have to find 100 ways to secure that you know i mean…
Keep on writting these lovely, meaningful,inspirational and motivational letters and bring about change in our life style.
Thank you so much for all this.
Warm Regard’s,
Aleem Moosa
Manager Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
ninasetia
08. May, 2013
This is great thank you.
But how do you react when your boss treats mistakes, or possible mistakes, as punishment?