Each day that we make choices about our life and we don’t admit our vulnerability, we are robbing ourselves of our humanity.
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength.
Many of us have been conditioned to be strong.
Many of us have been encouraged not to ask for help.
Many of us have been persuaded not need anyone.
To be human is to discover we can be vulnerable and still be strong.
We can ask for help and still lead and we can need others and still be tenacious.
Most creative, innovative, visionary people- are people who have lived their lives by inspiration and vulnerability.
You may feel that you have tried too many times too many things, or maybe you have been judged too harshly in the past and you have lost the innocence to stay vulnerable.
It takes a strong person to live openly in their vulnerability.
Admitting that you don’t have to solve every problem you face is strong.
Allowing yourself to say, “I don’t have to fix every problem” is strong.
In times of vulnerability:
• Read biographies’ of others: see how others have struggled through their fragile moments and survived.
• Start journaling: see where you need to remain open and admit your fragility, admitting vulnerability creates intimacy.
• Begin self reflection: taking the time to go inward, begins with you, it gives you the answers are seeking.
You can’t solve a problem you won’t face.
You can’t protect yourself against possible hurt.
This world is about taking in not shutting out.
In order to find your way, you have to pay close attention to the signs about when you feel you want to shut down and hide behind those messages: I don’t need you. I can do this by myself.
We must reenter the truth of what is really going on and be honest.
We must stay vulnerable.
We cannot fear what lies within us, we can only love ourselves long enough to accept ourselves.
Lead From Within: The strongest people are the ones that can withstand their vulnerability and honor the balance about remaining open and being vulnerable.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
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30 Responses
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August 23, 2012
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Dan
09. Aug, 2012
Wonderful, Lolly.
There’s so much of you in this. Only someone who has been to that place themselves can tell such a story…that’s where the inspiration in it truly lies. “I went there, it was tough, I came back, this is what I learned.” To be present in such a way offers amazing guidance to us all.
Catherine-Core Coaching
09. Aug, 2012
True!
lollydaskal
09. Aug, 2012
Owning our past can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from our future. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as threatening as staying stuck.
lollydaskal
09. Aug, 2012
Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable. Be strong. Be alive.
Nicole
12. May, 2017
This is really true and really beautiful. I am just stepping into the strength of being vulnerable instead of looking at it as a weakness. I have opened up and shared, become vulnerable and it’s having a great affect on others. I hope it inspires others opening up, sharing and connecting!
Robert
30. Aug, 2014
Bravo! Dan!
Jhannuzs
09. Aug, 2012
Great
To be humble also is a way to learn more about quality life!
lollydaskal
09. Aug, 2012
Remember you are stronger than pain and you are bigger than your failures. Be strong stay vulnerable.
lollydaskal
09. Aug, 2012
We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust… but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find what we are looking for.
Catherine-Core Coaching
09. Aug, 2012
something good to remember! thank you
lollydaskal
09. Aug, 2012
To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.
KellyLako
09. Aug, 2012
There are times when u have a problem and it feels like the preacher is speakin to u. Thia articles has been it, thanks
Olaf Lewitz
10. Aug, 2012
Thank you. Awesome inspiration!
Vikki Sutton
10. Aug, 2012
Lolly, I love your blog! You speak truth.
Chery Gegelman
11. Aug, 2012
Lolly ~ Thank you for sharing this post!
It is so simple, so POWERFUL and so true! At times this has been one of the hardest choices to make. …At the same time, if taking that risk provides the possibility of more peace, more joy, more life… Is there really a choice?
Thank you for choosing to lead from a place of vulnerability!
Consider Yourself Hugged!
Chery
Jon M
11. Aug, 2012
Great point, Lolly. In recognizing and embracing our vulnerability, we gain strength in becoming better people and leaders.
Your point about reading biographies is an essential one. Through biographies, we learn about struggles, achievements, and principles that power people forward to do great things in life.
Thanks!
Jon
Greg Marcus
13. Aug, 2012
Thanks Lolly. I think people get in the biggest trouble when they think they are strong enough to face things by themselves.
Gail
18. Aug, 2012
Thanks for this timely wisdom, Lolly. I’m working on it.
Ed Hennessy
23. Aug, 2012
vulnerability and courage are different sides of the same coin, terrific comments about the strength of vulnerability.
Delna
09. Sep, 2012
Many thanks, it sure is a mind opener! I am very fortunate to have got to know of your site and have shared it on my blog http://believeabundance.blogspot.com/, please do share some more of your valuable knowledge so that it can be of use to others….
Hugs, Delna
Samantha
23. Jun, 2013
How have I MISSED this post Lolly!?!? : )
You hit the big ones for me right at the top:
Many of us have been conditioned to be strong.
Many of us have been encouraged not to ask for help.
Many of us have been persuaded to not need anyone.
Being shamed for needing or requiring any help at all.
So that has led to making it difficult to reach out and ask for help when those of us who are conditioned to believe we either aren’t worthy of help or are supposed to be constantly self-sufficient that we rarely, if ever, need any.
In the past, I’ve even tweeted something along the lines of, ‘One of the biggest lies on the planet is the one that causes us to deny that we have any needs at all.’
When we buy this lie (and it can be deeply ingrained and is one of my biggies), we wait WAY too long to reach out. Which can be life-threatening in some cases.
Interdependency is the happy medium between being overly -dependent and hyper independent. The two extremes that can cause problems.
Love this post Lolly!
Deb Pittam
31. Aug, 2014
Great topic and really great points you make. Currently listening to Brene Brown who has done so much research on this- completely in tune with what you say and worth looking at too. Great suggestions about what to do when feeing vulnerable. Thanks
Raghu
26. Nov, 2015
Lolly, Very true, I would say asking for help is an art. Many a times people tend to safeguard their image as you rightly mentioned as scared to being vulnerable… To succeed, you need to be strong, ie being in good terms with your past and current situation. That will build your Character.. Truly enjoyed you post and it has been a wonderful eye opener. Cheers, Raghu
Jeff Pendleton
10. Dec, 2016
I agree with Dan, word for word. Great observation Dan. Way to go, Lolly!
Divya
19. Dec, 2016
Very well captured! I’ve felt every bit of it…