When we judge, we inhabit a world of which we put labels on another which causes us to feel separated from the trust and connection that is essential to life and leadership.
So why does it happen? Why do we judge? It comes back to the self: fear, shame, insecurity.
It is when we are disconnected from our own feelings that we project them onto others.
When we honestly own where we are going and how we are leading, we can guide ourselves through whatever is going on inside us without the need to externalize it by judging.
We make these decisions every day, with every thought, with every conversation, with every encounter. As leaders, we are called to rise above our insecurities and projections and allow others to be who they are.
It isn’t always easy to do. For many of us, judging comes as second nature. But learning to release the need to judge, to look within instead of projecting, can be a powerful source of heart.
We must remember that leading is a privilege, and that the noblest form of leadership is to observe ourselves and give freedom to others.
Leading with heart is something we experience every day, a practice that is everlasting no matter where we are or what we are doing. And heart-centered leadership has no place for judgment, separation, exclusion. It is the way of inclusion, service and giving.
Lead From Within: As Leaders the profound lesson is….Do not judge but to allow each encounter, each connection, each communication to lead with love and heart.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
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7 Responses
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to “Leadership: Do Not Judge Me”
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January 15, 2013
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Graham Cowle
28. Nov, 2012
Dear Lolly,
Timimg of your article is awesome. You should send this to the NZ Herald and UK media over the rugby incident they are all talking about – judging.
Thank you Graham.
scott hudsp
28. Nov, 2012
This is so timely for me. To further a point, rather than rising above our insecurities… what if we unpacked our insecurities. What if we exposed them to ourselves, then deal with them. I think we would be stronger in the long run. Shore up your foundation, and the house will stabilize.
Thanks for your work! I always enjoy.
Carol Norbeck Hines
28. Nov, 2012
Lolly,
Thank you for your insight! In my consulting work I am constantly emphasizing the need for trust in leadership. Without trust no one will follow their manager’s lead with sincere alignment to the goals and mission of the organization. And without a feeling of acceptance without judgment will there ever be any real trust. Thanks again!
Carol
Andrew Roth
28. Nov, 2012
A privilege – I never thought of it that way. Listening and showing empathy can gain their trust. I suppose I always saw leadership as service to those I was responsible for.
Tania Stanwood
04. Dec, 2012
I agree with those above who have said this article came at the best time…it certainly did for me as well. I find myself being very judgemental these days. I have been reading A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide by Lisa Selow (lisaselow.com if anyone wants to take a look) and I have really been taking what seh writes to heart about getting back to my “true self”, and I know there is someone there who is not this judgmental…Thanks for this post, I needed to read this today!
Simon
04. Dec, 2012
Wow, what a great post at such an apt time for me. Not judging, not being judgemental has been on top of my list of todo’s for a while and will be for ever.
I would love to be able to say that I never judge, but that would be like saying I never get mad, It just happens. And so this is why it is always at the top of my todo list and where it shall stay.
Since I put this at the top of my list I am constantly reminded that by judging I am missing the gifts that a person is offering me. Judging is closing your ears to new knowledge and forgetting that we will never be able to see the same perspective of another person. When I remind myself of this I can stop and think and throw off the blanket of judgement to see what is really there.
It is hard and needs constant work, but just as most things that are hard in life the rewards as magnificent. I continue to learn from the people that in the past I might have judged and through them I grow.
To lead from within I feel that an open heart is required, and when you truly open your heart I believe it is not possible to judge. So when I feel that I am judging I not only know that I am missing some important learning, but I have allowed my heart to close and I am not leading fromwithin.
You are so right that judging can be fear based, and so the old reptilian brain takes hold and we fight, we strike out with a judgement of a person without sometimes even knowing that person. We that are weak and do not believe in our own strength, beauty or compassion;judge.
But there is always hope, faith and compassion to come to the rescue, and we can with love, humility and compassion go back and right the wrong and with our open hearts receive the wisdom of our wrongs.
Thanks for the post Lolly need this right now,
Love U
Simon