On some level, most of us want to be liked. Even if you work to maintain an appropriate distance from your team or employees, the more that people like you and want to emulate you, the more engaged they will be as team members. The best leaders are those who are genuinely liked.
Here are 10 things that likable people consistently do. None of them will compromise your credibility or authority as a leader–so give them a try and see what happens.
1. Listen without interrupting. Become a great listener. That means no butting in, no rushing along, no asking questions until the speaker is done. Listen not to frame your own rebuttal but rather to genuinely understand.
2. Smile without smirking. Smiling and warmth make others around you feel good. It seems simplistic, but smiling is a lost skill of sorts. Master it and you’ll stand out.
3. Speak without dictating. Speak and share your thoughts and ideas, but treat such conversations as a two-way street. Your voice and your wisdom have value, but set them forth in a way that respects the voice and wisdom of others in true dialogue.
4. Give without receiving. As the adage says, we make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give. Don’t keep score; give with a genuine heart, because it makes you happy.
5. Enjoy without complaining. Enjoy and be grateful for all that you have. It is gratitude that gives us the best reasons not to complain.
6. Trust without wavering. Trust, someone once said, is like an eraser–it gets smaller and smaller every time you have to use it. When we can offer others our sincere word and they know they can trust us, that’s no small thing. Consistently doing what you’ve said you would do, and not doing what you’ve said you won’t do, earns you a huge amount of trust.
7. Promise without forgetting. People with good intentions make promises; people with great character keep them. Keeping promises should be your highest priority–because when you give your word, there is no room to forget. Keep your promises.
8. Forgive without punishing. I believe there are two kinds of forgiveness: the kind that also gives the other person a chance, and the kind that forgives but still compels you to move on without that person. Either should be used wisely, and neither should be about punishment. The healthy way to forgive is whatever works best for you without punishing the other person.
9. Be honest without deceiving. The people we like the best are those who are honest, who follow their convictions and speak their truth. We like people who act on their beliefs. They may not always win, but you know what they stand for.
10. Be positive without reservation. Negative, angry people drag down everyone around them. Work on maintaining a positive attitude at work and in life. Make an effort to look for opportunities and solutions instead of barriers and problems. Whatever the situation, focus on what can be done.
What about you? When was the last time you interacted with a truly likable person? (Or the last time you made someone instantly like you?) What was said? What was done?
Share your thoughts about being likable and why it matters.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.